Friday, July 8, 2011
So last night I was reading on a support forum and another mom posted that she was annoyed with moms telling her that they know how she feels, that they had a miscarriage....her problem with this is: her child was born living and lived for 20days. At first I was annoyed with this. No, I don't think ANYONE should compare their loss to someone else's, because we all grieve differently, we all cope differently. But, for her to say that "its not the same my child lived" is kind of a big sting. Yes, I know that Ian only lived in utero ....but he still LIVED, he was real, and he mattered too. After I thought about the whole situation, I got an epiphany of sorts: in ways we are both fighting for the same thing: we are fighting for people to see the value of our baby. I want people to acknowledge that my baby died! I don't want people to think of Ian as just another statistic. He's much more than that! And this lady (I'm being general here because I don't know for sure) probably feels very similar, because she wants people to see that her child lived and breathed and she doesn't want him to be just another statistic. I know that I would have became even more attached to Ian as he grew...but I loved him just as much as I love Brycen and Haiden already. So, I know that there is a difference between her grief and mine but I'm still entitled to my grief! Ian deserves to be mourned over! He deserves to be acknowledged as a baby.