It has been a little over 4 mths since we said goodbye to Ian, and I can honestly say that I'm beginning to live again. For the past few days I've had a peace about me that I haven't felt in a long time. I know that God is healing my broken heart! Today was the 1st Sunday in about a month that I've been to church....and it was like the message was tailored for James and I. The original verses that the pastor used escapes me but the message was on patience and waiting. He also spoke about loneliness and despair. I do know that the verses were near Psalm 40 because James and I both spoted it (we were sharing a Bible) and James felt led to share our testimony, as the service was coming to an end. He read from Psalm 40 and told about losing Ian (many at church are new and had no idea) and he said that even though we have more questions than answers God is still there! He is still good. He is pulling us out of the rubble and He has a plan for our lives! I think God's presence was truly in the service today! And I thank God for the opportunity for James to speak out, and I pray that anything he said will be used to glorify God! I think I'm finally beginning to see how He wants to use me....I honestly believe that He wants me to speak out about miscarriage and stillbirth and show others that these little babies are His children! "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."Jeremiah 1:5 is proof of that! I also believe that He is calling me to move forward with our "elephant ministry" I've been procrastinating with getting it all together....and I think the reason for it is simply I wasn't ready....I wasn't ready to accept that Ian is truly gone....but for the last few days I really do have a peace and a joy that I haven't felt in a long time and I want to try and share that with others. When I look back on my older post its amazing how far I've come....God is working wonders with my life! I'll admit I'm still sad and I still miss Ian but I know that one day I WILL see him again. I think from now on I will add a link to give people who are new to my blog an option to start from the beginning....I think it's important for people to see where I've come from and where I'm going....
I'll finish up with the verses that James read at church today...and I'll also leave a link for the option of reading from the beginning
1 I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the LORD
and put their trust in him. Pslam 40:1-3
To read our story from the beginning.....