Sunday, December 18, 2011

The dream...

Last night I had the oddest dream!  And it felt SO real....in the dream I had 3 living children, Brycen, Haiden, and a baby boy.  It was a hectic day and we were all running around trying to get ready to leave, and I kept referring to the baby as Ian.  Not mistakenly either...and then James walks over to me and sits me down, with a sincere and worried look and says "babe, you know that's not Ian....that's Brayden"  and I sobbed and sobbed, not only because I missed Ian but also because I wasn't giving the new baby the attention and love that he deserved.  It was such a strange dream!  It also made me realize that no matter how many children we have...I will always long for my sweet Ian.  He will always be loved and missed! 
Edited to add: When I told James about my dream he said "what was that name?" and I said "Brayden"....he thought for a moment and  said "hmmm, like Brycen and Haiden put together" (Haiden is traditionally spelled Hayden)....how odd is that?!?!?! When I woke up and started "analyzing" the dream I thought: Brayden ends with an 'n'.....just like Brycen, Haiden, and Ian.  It wasn't done on purpose with Haiden but it was with Ian...so Brayden just fit....I didn't realize that it fit that well.

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